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It’s truly amazing how one person can become two totally different personas both branching out from the same personality. Yet completely different in every aspect.
This is not a case of multiple personalities because the person knows everything that is going on as a whole, without blackouts or loss of time, although there is a “out of body” experience associated with these episodes.
I’m writing this because I’ve discovered myself doing it more and more frequently these past few weeks.
It’s safe to say I’ve been battling deep depression and some manic behaviors, but I’m not bipolar.
My condition is a border line personality disorder not otherwise specified. Which leaves the doors wide open.
Lately I’ve found myself evolving into another person completely, this person has all the traits I’ve desired to have, confidence, wit, sexuality, and charm, not to mention “she” is amazingly brilliant.
I’m very confused by all of this for the reason that I’m not sure if I’ve somehow unlocked these traits within myself or if I’ve simply created a persona to take over where I feel I lack the ability to achieve in particular situations.
As I set back and examine the things I do as this “other” person the more comfortable I feel in allowing myself to be lost in “her” or simply be the person that has been hidden away for so many years that I’ve forgotten who I really was..on either account I no longer know who is real and who isn’t or if we are both the same..
There are two sides to everyone a darker side and a lighter side could this possibly be a case of light overtaking dark..or simply overcoming depression.